Yes, we all love books here. In fact, you should probably be reading one instead of this website, but come on. You’re on the toilet or the subway right now. That’s no time for mind-expanding fiction.

Sometimes, you want to unwind with a few funny short jokes. Thankfully, that’s really all anyone is posting on Twitter these days (unless you count all the un-Democratic misinformation. There’s always room for that on social media.).

Not everyone is built to write the next great American novel. Some people like to fit their genius ideas into a tweet under 240 characters. That’s good for everyone. We don’t always have the attention span for a long, drawn-out essay about our first sexual experience or a reflection on the pervasive ennui that affects all novelists. None of these people have the attention span to write anything longer, I promise you.

Unless we’re counting a half-hour comedy spec script. Many of the people below have a ton of those. For now, let’s read the funny tweets that deserve a Pulitzer.

Here are the funniest tweets I had time to find this week:

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Watching the new Jurassic World trailer and thinking maybe we should just give the dinosaurs one more shot with the planet.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) February 13, 2022

11.

I’m not a big sports guy. i just asked ‘what act we’re in’

— Raanan Hershberg (@Raanancomedy) February 14, 2022

12.

Big freelance gig came in. $200 to "write a new script that's something like this?" Attached was the Parks And Rec pilot.

— Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) February 7, 2022

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https://twitter.com/AlisonLeiby/status/1493048405878362113?s=20&t=b1wR_GzoFcOP5iI_OFmQWQ

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https://twitter.com/MarkAgee/status/1493037134923505670?s=20&t=Fo12RVNRkb4MxUFbBSPEfg

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The winter sucks so bad that people need to be reminded they’re loved mid-February.

— Brent Terhune in Little Rock 6.26-28 (@BrentTerhune) February 14, 2022

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Eminem no longer the rapper with the worst response to a Kim leaving him

— Mohanad Elshieky (@MohanadElshieky) February 13, 2022

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Zoom meeting at 8:30 AM

Me at 8:29 AM: pic.twitter.com/ziojT43xck

— C.J. Lawrence (@CJLawrenceEsq) February 14, 2022

18.

Today, a lot of women are opening their Valentine’s gift of leftover Super Bowl nachos.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 14, 2022

19.

One reason I still have trouble believing crypto currency is money is that there aren’t commercials for money.

— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) February 14, 2022

20.

Don’t tell me my generation isn’t tough. We walked around in these 😤 pic.twitter.com/rK5dLul3S9

— The Wild Wild Breast (@Slee_333) February 14, 2022

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https://twitter.com/FunnyMaine/status/1493069032269955072?s=20&t=XJXqo_65tdj2YVm9-yw24g

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https://twitter.com/proyearner/status/1493321880308174851?s=20&t=b1wR_GzoFcOP5iI_OFmQWQ

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https://twitter.com/SpiceBoyJoey/status/1493040120433418241?s=20&t=CaPICKCmPd35wNsBzbxdPA

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When someone makes me watch a video on their phone pic.twitter.com/QBvbrTbHP7

— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) February 12, 2022

25.

I asked my dad what he’s doing for Valentine’s Day and he said “your mom and I have been married 40 years so we don’t care about stuff like that” then I asked my mom what she’s doing for Valentine’s Day and she said “idk but I hope your dad has something fun planned!”

— Robert Schultz (@_RobertSchultz) February 14, 2022

See more funny content from Better Book Titles:

• Here Are Some Hilarious Fake Retitles For Famous Children’s Books (33 Pics)

• Wow, There’s A Sentence I’ve Never Read Before (30 Pics)

• Everybody’s A Critic – The Best Of The Worst Funny One-Star Reviews On Goodreads