Classics - Better Book Titles

TITLES: CLASSICS

Aeschylus: the Oresteia - "Mother Knows Best"

Aeschylus: the Oresteia

Apollonius of Rhodes: Argonautica, an entire frat sets sail to steal the fanciest coat

Apollonius of Rhodes: Argonautica

Aristophanes: The Frogs - "Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey (In Greek)"

Aristophanes: The Frogs

Beowulf - "Y tu mamá también"

Beowulf

Reader Submission: Conor Houghton

Beowulf - "The Danes Outsource An Exterminator"

Beowulf

Charles Dickens: A Christmas Carol - "On Christmas, Undigested Cheese Has The Same Effect As LSD"

Charles Dickens: A Christmas Carol

Charles Dickens David Copperfield, Better book titles, diary of a wimpy kid

Charles Dickens: David Copperfield

Submitted by Brian Boone

Daniel Defoe: Robinson Crusoe - "Things To Bring On A Deserted Island: 1. A Bible, 2. Raisins, 3. The Institution Of Slavery"

Daniel Defoe: Robinson Crusoe

Dante Alighieri: Inferno

Dante Alighieri: Inferno

Dante Alighieri: The Divine Comedy - "A Walk To Remember"

Dante Alighieri: The Divine Comedy

Reader Submission: lessthansix

Epic of Gilgamesh - "The Epic For People Who Don't Like Epic-Length Epics"

Epic of Gilgamesh

Euripides: Bacchae - "Never Piss Off An Androgynous Wizard God"

Euripides: Bacchae

Euripides: Hippolytus - "Incest Causes Sea Monsters"

Euripides: Hippolytus

Euripides: Medea - "How To Lose A Guy In One Day"

Euripides: Medea

Euripides: the Bacchae - "Dionysus Is A Violent Drunk"

Euripides: the Bacchae

Submitted by Jacob Horn

Friedrich Nietzsche thus spoke zarathustra funny better book title thus spoke syphillis

Friedrich Nietzsche: Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Reader Submission by Kyle Maddock

George Eliot Mill of the floss better book title, why be nice to your siblings when they're all gonna die in a flood

George Eliot: The Mill on The Floss

Reader Submission: Title by Shawn Callahan.

Goethe’s Faust - "A Guy Gets So Tired Of Reading, He Sells His Soul To Satan Out Of Boredom"

Goethe’s Faust

Grimm’s Fairy Tales - "Never Trust Your Step-Mother"

Grimm’s Fairy Tales

Grimm’s Fairy Tales - "Everyone Gets Married, Murdered, Or Dipped Into A Vat Of Boiling Oil And Snakes"

Grimm’s Fairy Tales

Grimm’s Fairy Tales - "Beautiful People Are Good, Ugly People Are Evil"

Grimm’s Fairy Tales

Grimms fairy tales, funny cover, once upon a time when women were property

Grimm’s Fairy Tales

Gustave Flaubert: Madame Bovary - "Shop ’til You Drop"

Gustave Flaubert: Madame Bovary

Reader Submission: Bijan Samareh

Gustave Flaubert Madame Bovary Funny Better Book Titles getting fondled at the county fair

Gustave Flaubert: Madame Bovary

Herman Hesse book cover that says jazz and good sex save a man from killing himself, better book titles

Herman Hesse – Steppenwolf

Herman Melville: Moby Dick - "Deadliest Catch"

Herman Melville: Moby Dick

Homer: Odyssey - "Less Mythical Than An Economically Stable Greece"

Homer: Odyssey

Reader Submission: Ken Schultz

Homer: the Iliad - "An Angry Guy Gets Angrier Then Chills"

Homer: the Iliad

homer the odyssey, funny fake cover, better book titles, alt title never flirt with a veteran's wife

Homer: the Odyssey

Homer: the Odyssey - "The Gods Must Be Crazy"

Homer: the Odyssey

Reader Submission: Katie Wallis

Homer’s Iliad - "Don't Forget To Baptize Your Son's Ankles Too"

Homer’s Iliad

Submitted by Eli Lebowicz

James Joyce: Ulysses - "One Long Sentence About Handjobs"

James Joyce: Ulysses

James Joyce: Ulysses - "Keeping Cliffsnotes in Business Since 1922"

James Joyce: Ulysses

Reader Submission: Ken Schultz

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: Faust - "The Road To Hell Is Paved With Illegitimate Children And Blood Oaths"

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: Faust

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: Sorrows of a Young Werther - "The Virgin Suicide"

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: Sorrows of a Young Werther

John Milton: Paradise Lost - "Eat This, Not That"

John Milton: Paradise Lost

John Milton: Paradise Lost - "Blaming Women For Everything"

John Milton: Paradise Lost

John Milton's Paradise Lost

John Milton’s Paradise Lost

Kate Chopin: The Awakening - "How Edna Never Got Her Groove To Begin With"

Kate Chopin: The Awakening

Reader Submission: Tyler Snodgrass

Margaret Mitchell: Gone with the Wind - "Turns Out Slave Owners Are Terrible People"

Margaret Mitchell: Gone with the Wind

Reader Submission: Ken Schultz

Marquis de Sade: 120 Days of Sodom - "Everyone Poops (On Each Other)"

Marquis de Sade: 120 Days of Sodom

Reader Submission: @jesseinretro

Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote - "Dementia In La Mancha"

Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote

Reader Submission by Brendan Mortimer

Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote - "Dumb & Dumber"

Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote

Reader Submission: Eve Penzer

Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote - "Reading Makes You Crazy"

Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote

One Thousand and One Nights - "One Thousand And One Cliffhangers"

One Thousand and One Nights

Ovid: Metamorphoses - "1,001 Rapes"

Ovid: Metamorphoses

Reader Submission: Gus Reed

Plato Symposium better book title, funny retitle says Horny Drunk Guys Invent Philosophy

Plato: Symposium

Plato: The Trial and Death of Socrates - "Athens Kills Its Best Unemployed Wise-Ass"

Plato: The Trial and Death of Socrates

Robert Graves: I, Claudius - "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower"

Robert Graves: I, Claudius

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight - "Keeping It In Your Pants Saves Lives" better book titles

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Sophocles: Ajax - "A Very Strict Vegetarian" Better book title

Sophocles: Ajax

Sophocles: Antigone - "Buried... with Children"

Sophocles: Antigone

Reader Submission: Mary Morris

Sophocles: Antigone - "Lack Of Funerals Causes Everyone To Commit Suicide"

Sophocles: Antigone

Sophocles: Oedipus the King - "How I Met Your Mother"

Sophocles: Oedipus the King

Reader Submission: ThatDarnCass

Sophocles: Philoctetes - "Never Abandon Friends Who Own Magic Weapons"

Sophocles: Philoctetes

Victor Hugo: Les Misérables - "The Pros And Cons Of Prisoner Rehabilitation Programs"

Victor Hugo: Les Misérables

Reader Submission by Albert Santos.

Virgil: the Aeneid - "Daddy Issues And A Bad Breakup Found Rome"

Virgil: the Aeneid

Zamyatin We, funny better book title, what math is used for after high school, Russian literature,

Yevgeny Zamyatin: We