What can you say about kids? They love dark, weird stories with dubious morals. Frankly, Children’s Literature alone is enough to make me pump the brakes on making a new one and sending it out into the world. They all seem like tiny sociopaths who like I Want My Hat Back or the part in James And The Giant Peach when the eponymous peach kills the aunts.
Nevertheless, there will come a day where I find myself reading Click Clack Moo for the 800th time, hoping the socialist overtones resonated with my child. Hopefully, they will. More likely, they’ll like the sound and then ask me to reread some of More Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (a book that still terrifies me to this day).
Here’s a fun fact: did you know that in the first edition of Grimms Fairy Tales, all the evil stepmothers were the kids’ biological mothers, but people complained that moms would never do that to their offspring, so they changed it to “stepparents” and everyone agreed that was fine? Change nothing else, fellas. As long as the moms aren’t the ones throwing a child into a stew or abandoning kids in the woods.
From there, children’s stories only get darker, funnier, and weirder. Honestly, good. Kids should be frightened that someone might leave them in the woods or a grocery store. It prepares them for being an adult when you are riddled with free-floating anxiety and dread about imaginary things that will likely never ever happen to you.
For now, let’s enjoy these fake titles for new and classic Children’s books.
Here are the funniest Children’s books covered on Better Book Titles:
1. Curious George
2. Click, Clack, Moo
3. James And The Giant Peach
4. The Lorax
5. The Giving Tree
6. Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
7. Where The Wild Things Are
8. Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark
10. Grimms’ Fairy Tales
14. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
15. Knuffle Bunny
16. Caps For Sale
17. The Rainbow Fish
18. In The Night Kitchen
19. Beatrix Potter, The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies
20. The Chicken Thief
21. Oh, The Places You’ll Go
22. Charlotte’s Web
23. Alexader And The No Good, Very Bad Day
24. The Phantom Tollbooth
25. The Berenstain Bears
26. Goodnight Moon
27. Miss Nelson Is Missing!
28. Green Eggs And Ham
30. I Want My Hat Back