Yes, we all love books here. In fact, you should probably be reading one instead of this website, but come on. You’re on the toilet or the subway right now. That’s no time for mind-expanding fiction.
Sometimes, you want to unwind with a few funny short jokes. Thankfully, that’s really all anyone is posting on Twitter these days (unless you count all the un-Democratic misinformation. There’s always room for that on social media.).
Not everyone is built to write the next great American novel. Some people like to fit their genius ideas into a tweet under 240 characters. That’s good for everyone. We don’t always have the attention span for a long, drawn-out essay about our first sexual experience or a reflection on the pervasive ennui that affects all novelists. None of these people have the attention span to write anything longer, I promise you.
Unless we’re counting a half-hour comedy spec script. Many of the people below have a ton of those. For now, let’s read the funny tweets that deserve a Pulitzer.
Here are the funniest tweets I had time to find this week:
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A crypto company has bought the naming rights to the Staples Center for a record breaking price tag of SEVEN monkey pictures.
— J.P. McDade (@jp_mcdade) November 17, 2021
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https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1461003092544180229
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https://twitter.com/lil_cels/status/1460368038809665538
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heyyy great party last night 🙂 soooo fun!! wondering if by any chance you found a paper clip ???
— charlie (@chunkbardey) November 22, 2021
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good blurb pic.twitter.com/YgM42ZTy3c
— Alex Shephard (@alex_shephard) November 21, 2021
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https://twitter.com/eliyudin/status/1459719128969887744
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https://twitter.com/BillCorbett/status/1460820364905390081
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https://twitter.com/isabelhagen_/status/1460690294987534344?s=20
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Got the booster and the nurse administering the shot showed me the label on the syringe like it was a bottle of wine. I was like, “Ah, 2021- wonderful year.”
— Nate Fridson (@natefridson) November 15, 2021
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your ducks can also be organized into columns
— Jenna SaysQuoi (@jennasaysquoi) November 14, 2021
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https://twitter.com/chikntendrqueer/status/1459561917945716744?s=20
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https://twitter.com/BudrykZack/status/1462448044092362763?s=20
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Whenever I have to buy a nice gift for someone I don't know every well, I always totally choke and get them like a bag of fancy buttons or three pounds of designer ham.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) November 20, 2021
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https://twitter.com/rainnwilson/status/1462834237942468614?s=20
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reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain and that’s why we’re all on twitter
— madimoiselle ♡ (@drivingmemadi) November 17, 2021
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they said “y’a know what? Let’s give these window bars a FATASS” pic.twitter.com/j8Jpp2VFbG
— Allison Reese🛸 (@alienreese) November 14, 2021
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https://twitter.com/BrotiGupta/status/1459741909597888522?s=20
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https://twitter.com/RohitaKadambi/status/1460353984213000214?s=20
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do u think service dogs think other dogs are losers with no job or do u think they’re jealous of dogs with no job
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 17, 2021
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